sometimes I wish that I could go back.
In high school, all I wanted to do was leave and never have anything to do with my stupid high school.
It was dumb and it was stupid.
But it was so stable.
I hate striving to be something I'm not.
Yes, it is my dream school and yes I love being here.
I love it, I really do.
But being surrounded by people who are so different and just crazy at times drives me nuts.

I wish I had a home to go back to.
A family to return to.
Friends to meet and rent with.

But no, I have to hide my weaknesses and shortcomings so they won't think I'm a failure.
So they won't think I'm a failure.

I guess my focus has shift since I've gotten here.
I promised to Him that I won't let go of Him.

In the end, my heart always knows the answer.

Troubled yet beautiful

how can you be smart

when its love

i already accepted that i relate to nothing

past is heavy but past is past and

i can only try to understand



egoism

too much self importance 

perhaps

luxury of time 

perhaps just series of bad events which were only beautiful

the irony

the facade we put on

penetrating time.

but not egoism.

it is relative but different.

i just know

the more i gain

the more lonely it is

but when people grow together

its something that is not easy but is nice 

and that is something, 

relative.

staying relative is hard

staying honest is hard

i know i'm like a ghost

i have nothing

but myself

and potential, to me is the question of will

thats why i am present to you

RIP Daul Kim

You still make me want to cry, I don't know why.

Your blogposts are so real. 

The thoughts that used to trouble my mind are there, right before my eyes.

I'm simple.

And I believe we all are.

And I hope you didn't do what you did.

No one understands. I mean really.
I make things much more complicated and perhaps make myself miserable on the way.
But really.
I can't stand it anymore.
I'm selfish. I know that too.
And I'm sitting in the library, renting about my life.
So much crap to deal with