Waiting

Everyone tells me that I could just have fun.
That I can just do whatever I want and everything will work out in the end.
But I couldn't.
How could I do that when I knew that they weren't meant for me.
They were cute and certainly attractive.
But I knew that we weren't going to end up together.
I know I'm a little too young to think about marriage or anything, but I knew that my life that Christ bought for me, is so much more worthy and precious than just having fun.
We weren't meant to be because we placed our hope in different things.
I saw my mom suffer too much.
So much from my dad.
My hope is Christ but theirs isn't.
I can't do that when I see my mom.
I can't do that when I fix my eyes on Christ.

But
It might be a little different this time.
Although, I'll probably look back to this post later, smirk, and click "delete"
What was I thinking.
Juvenile and stupid.

But I know that,
God is still good.
God is still sovereign.
God is still amazing.
He is my portion forever.
He is most glorified when I'm most satisfied in Him.